I will start at University. I went to King's College London, which is in the UK and is one of the best universities for law, in the country, i think its ranked number five or something like that. They tell you that once you get into a top uni like this its plain sailing. Hell they made out like i'd be snapped up before I even made a job application - Please note: this is NOT the case - PEOPLE LIE, or misinform whatever you wana call it. Its bloody hard to get a training contract or vacation scheme, or summer internship! They make you jump thorugh hoops so be prepared and consider yourself pre-warned!!
Anyway I managed to get straight A's at A-level and thus was accepted. So i get in, go to the first few lectures and realise ..... no one here, out of the 500 other bodies that were sitting in that lecture theatre, no one was like me. So stage one, of what you may feel when you first embark on you journey to being a lawyer or attorney, is isolation!
I was isolated in sooo many ways. First of all i could only see 2 other black people in the vast sea of freshers. This was extremely unaccommodating; made me feel from the start that the odds were stacked against me and totally confirmed the initial feeling of not belonging. It may seem silly to some but when your one of the only Black people in a room of 500 you become very aware of this fact. Not that i wasn't used to it (in primary school i was the only black girl in my year, except one mixed race gurl and the same in secondary/high school). Anyhu the result of this was that it made me quite introverted (not sure if that a word but i have said that English is not my strong point - bare with me!) Anyways I felt isolated, became introverted and resigned myself to going in and out of classes and lectures with my hood up, last in, first out, avoiding all contact with anyone else on my course.
To be honest it was cos its hard to try and fit in when everyone is soooo damn different. What on earth do i have to say to someone who listens to rock instead of r'n'b, wears Chanel instead of H'n'M and speaks with an accent that is posher than e Queen's! That shit is intimidating - do not ever get it twisted! And if u av other frineds outside of your course its really easy to just stick to what you know. But the thing is you need to have friends in all walks of life - the people you used to hang with can only help you soo much. They don't have the notes you may need to copy when u miss a lecture, they don't know the deadline for assignments and they definately do not have the connections you need to get ahead.
Anyhow I continued to live this way for most of my first year until i stumbled across some other Black and Asian students that seemed a lot less alien to me than the rest, who i eventually became quite good friends with.
Anyways my lesson looking back on it all, was that just because you are thrown into what seems like an alternate world you have to assert yourself in your new condition. I mean really put yourself out there and take risks. My number one reason for not speaking to people was because 'i'm not a beg friend' (someone who sucks up to people and begs for people's friendship). Anyway I can see now, being older and slightly more mature that communicating and mingling with others, making an effort to get to know people is not being a begfriend - its called NETWORKING! Yea you may think that it sounds strange - networking... with other students?! But here's the thing, when they leave university they are NOT going to be students anymore. They will be people with training contracts or junior associates, or pr queens or maybe just socialites either way they are your key to connecting with others and in this industry, just like the entertainment industry - you are nothing with a contact or two! Take it from one who knows.
I've always had this belief that i can make it 100% on my own. You know? I don't need anyone because my hard work and determination is enough to get me through. Well let me tell you now, and take it from someone who has been there, that is NOT the case. You can NOT get to where you really wanna be without a contact or two. Yea, it sounds terrible, it goes against all notions of social mobility and those American dreams, that if you just keep trying you will get there,but at the end of the day it is what they forget to tell you! I have this view that people already in affluent families, or those with an aunt or uncle in the industry know this stuff - its just us first timeers that don't know how important it is to network - just wtach some of the freshers or people in your year. You will notice some of them are PROS!! So you better step ur game up!
Anyway I could talk about this whole networking thing forever but the lesson of this experience is that no matter where you go, or what you wana be you have to network. Socialise your butt off because at the end of the day there are thousands of students who have great grades, speak well, and were presidents of the debating society so how do these big firms choose? Contrary to the message they send, it always helps if you have a little contact, who can give your profile that extra boost and means that you get that job or that internship etc.
My lesson is that you should not let the appearance of this legal industry daunt you and intimidate you. Take control of your destiny and do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed and pushed to the sidelines. From the first day you get to university mingle. Yea, you might hate every minute of it but get to know who you need to know and it will be one of the most lucrative investments you ever make!
It would be great if someone can let me know if this is helpful btw. I'll keep writing either way but feedback is welcomed.
Cherie Amour
xcxcx
